Salt in the Wound Part II

You'll all die,

Unless you watch our cast.

Watch our show,

And we'll do our best to keep the terrorists and the Swine Flu at bay.

(Oh, excuse us, we mean H1N1. We don't want to offend the swine.)

Drive up our ratings,

And we just might stop the mudslinging,

Or maybe we'll wallow in the dirty stories just a bit more,

(We want to make more cash for our commercials.)

So, please keep watching,

We want to make you happy

With our depressing news.