Dear Secret Admirer,
Who the heck are you? To be honest, you really creep me out, like creepy creepy. In fact, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop writing this love letters. Sheesh, I mean, who writes letters these days anyway? It just screams stalker. I've been sneezing like crazy ever since I opened this note, don't you know perfume can kill some people? I hope you catch my cold.
Besides, you can't possibly be the girl that sits two seats away. She doesn't even know I exist. She's pretty...no, she's hot. Problem is, she's always watching the guy in front of her. What does he have that I don't? Just because he's tall, smart....okay, maybe he does have something going for him. But I'm not much worse!
Why don't you send him love letters and solve both our problems?
Sincerely, the guy two seats away.
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