Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Dear Mr. U. B. Spider

Dear Mr. U. B. Spider,

I regret to inform you, but your career as 858 Dockling Lane's household spider has come to an end. In light of the current economy and the needs of the household, I can no longer afford the expenses of time and space to keep you employed as the ugly brown spider in your office inside my guitar case.

Normally I would hand you a pink slip notifying you of your employment termination, but unfortunately the household has run out of pink slips and has yet to order more. In lieu of the traditional pink slip, my Vice President of Human Resources offered the suggestion of beating you with a shoe until your early death. Please brace yourself, as I've heard that shoe beatings can be rather hard on your family.

Sincerely,

Melody Jacobs

President of Human/Arachnid Resources,

858 Dockling Lane Inc.

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