I, the bus rider, have unalienable rights. I'll have you know that I, Lucie M. Coleridge, as a citizen of the United States of America, have certain unalienable rights. Among these rights I have the right to remain silent, the right to an attorney, the right of free speech, the right of free religion, but most importantly: the right against having to listen to screaming toddlers on the public transportation system.
Oh sure, it's not mentioned explicitly in the Bill of Rights nor the Constitution, but I assure you, it's there. I distinctly recall from my studies that I, Lucie M. Coleridge, have the right against cruel and unusual punishment. What am I being punished for? Good sir, that's exactly my point. I'm being punished for absolutely nothing! Doesn't that count as cruel at least, and certainly unusual? Aren't people usually punished for committing actual crimes? I assure you good sir, that I have committed absolutely no crime.
Assault? My word, I don't believe I quite like what you're implying good sir. I never ever slapped that poor, miserable excuse for a mother and parent....Well, alright. I did lightly tap her on the cheek. Someone had to get her attention! Her toddler was wailing and screaming and shouting...I had a terrible headache. I still have a horrible headache, actually. I believe you're making it worse. Instead of listening to your horrid assaults on my character, I shall go find a more merciful, generous, gentlemanly...gentleman to hear my just complaint. Good Day!
truth
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