Shaun White & Pneumonia

We waited for the phone to ring.

They waited him to fly down,

then out, then up, then upside down.

I could say his hair caught my eye,

you could say I needed a distraction.

Across a few walls, my mom fought to breathe

Across a few latitudes, he fought gravity.

He won a gold medal in a few minutes

Mom opened her eyes in a few days.

Candy, Hearts, Roses and All That

Within a week of asking her out,

He spoke to me twice as much.

Then he sent a note with chocolate,

Saying he's fallen for another girl.

I’ll write back, with a bottle of vanilla extract,

And say:

I am not your back up,

Your trump card,

Or Your booby prize.

Best of luck to your relationship,

You'll be needing luck when she dumps you

for the next one.

She Fought with Death Last Night

Death still hasn't learned his lesson.

This is the second time this year,

he's tried to fight me.

Sometimes he comes armed with a scythe

sometimes with a breathing machine,

and feeding tubes,

but I know I scared him away;

I know he's a coward.

He never allows his opponent to live long

enough to defeat him.

Crap, Chicken Little was Right

The sky is falling!

Or actually, the sky fell.

Yesterday it fell through my ceiling,

Landing square on my slug bug.

Ice from an airplane experts said.

I say the sky's playing games with me,

And he never said no tag-backs.