Dear Bibliophile,
I've heard you have a special affection for those things called books. If the rumors have any veracity to them, then why not me? I don't mean to sound pretentious, concieted, or histrionic, but I feel a bit neglected. I'll have you know that I have quite the spine, the smarts, though I've been known to be a bit thick.
I can change, I promise! I'll rewrite every word enscribed on every leaflet between my two ends. Shakespeare has timeless sonnets, and I'll quote every love poem he ever put forth in writing if you will just open me and read these words off my pages! Or the Odyssey, perhaps? I'll tell every stanza in epic proportions so that you'll never be able to put me down.
But, if you only like picture books or pop-up books, I'm afraid I can't help you. Such things have always been beneath me.
Loquatiously yours,
Identifying Your Insecurities, By Richard Laughlin
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